Hey!

The biggest thing about college and staying motivated is constantly reminding yourself why exactly you are there! When I am feeling lazy I quickly remind myself of what I am here to do! Also, it helps to know that this is no longer a free education (in less you got it like that!!) therefore there is really NO time to play around. I do not play with the money and I know you don't either!

Here are my tips on how to stay focus in college:

Set Goals! Setting goals throughout the week is helpful for keeping yourself motivated, you can go as far as rewarding yourself at the end of the week for a job well done! Why not?

Plan your day out beforehand, some people need structure to ensure they get the work done and know exactly what it is they need to do. This is really helpful if you are a really busy person this keeps you accountable and well organized! The better you feel the easier it will be to stay focus.

PRIORITIZE!!!! College is popping allll day long we know that! But you do not have to be at EVERY event lit and in the mix! If your work ain't done there is no reason we should see you at the party! Make sure to get the work done on time and at your best effort. I know you want to get lit but is getting lit really worth it at the end of the day? 

Keep a like-minded circle, you should surround yourself with people who have the same mindset as you. Doing this allows for the people around you to motivate you and keep you accountable. If you choose to surround yourself with people who could care less about what they are doing in college they will eventually rub off on you.

Cut out the distractions, it can be quite difficult to cut out all the distractions that are in your way but if you try to avoid boredom as much as possible you will be on your way to a more focused mind. Boredom is the playground to distractions and poor decisions. Stay as busy as possible, keep a productive schedule, stay out the mix and prosper!

I wish you a great semester of lessons learned, amazing memories, and outstanding academic success!

Hey! 

• Look at yourself in the mirror are you happy with what is looking back at you?
• Go to eat dinner or lunch alone, do you feel secure in your own presence?
• The last time someone asked you for something you did not want to provide, did you say no?
• Can you with ease explain all that makes you whole?

Someone who loves themselves always put themselves first and feels secure in their own presence. People who love themselves know who they are very well and are not afraid to address their flaws. They work diligently on their character while also being kind to who they are! Because after all, they understand that humans are flawed but still worth unconditional love!

If you love yourself, you are very aware of who is looking back at you in that mirror and proud to be on the other side. You feel whole no matter who is around you, and you say no without explanation simply because you can!

Hey!

Every relationship is unique and some just do not deserve a second chance if you are looking to get back with someone. But if you are referring to when it is a good time for you to get into a new relationship I would say when you are ready.

Ready in the sense that you know exactly what you want and need from your partner, once you have established boundaries that will not be crossed, once you have healed from past trauma and when you can trust and love yourself enough to love and care for another person. 

Relationships are not games and should be taken seriously because no one has time to waste playing around with people who have no idea who they are or what they want. If you do not know who you are and can not trust yourself your relationships will fail. Do the work if you truly want to meet your equal. Because as long as you continue to date aimlessly you will find yourself settling often and no one has time for that!!!!

Life is all about growth and relationships can get in the way of that growth, they are not needed but it is not a bad thing to want unconditional love and companionship, its normal. But you must be able to be comfortable alone before you can get into a serious relationship with another person.

Work on yourself selfishly, prosper, and be happy!

Hey!


Forgiveness as we know it is a pretty good thing but only when it is not forced. Forgiveness should come willing and if it does not what is the point of it? If you have forgiven someone just for the sake of it and still feel resentment against them you have wasted your time. The power of forgiveness lies in the freedom it gives you from the pain if you still feel that pain you were not ready to forgive.


Once you are ready to forgive someone for what they have done or even yourself for what you have done it should not be rushed. Also, it is important to note that not everyone deserves your forgiveness! Some things are just unforgivable and you should not feel pressured to forgive someone for the hell of it. But do not let this event control you let it free but know that some people do not deserve to feel peace in your forgiveness they just don't.


Sometimes we need to forgive people for our mental health but you can choose to forgive them on your own time and never speak to them again. Often times people feel that apologizing is the only consequence they have to face for crossing you, and it is not and should not because they will not stop hurting you until they learn there are real consequences for foul behavior.


Note that forgiving is not a guaranteed way to heal yourself from emotional trauma caused by others. But time for sure will allow you the space to heal and come to terms with whether you feel that you and the person who wronged you can ever have peace between you.


The most power lies in forgiving yourself I do believe because in order to love yourself fully you must forgive yourself for past mistakes.


So, of course, there is power in forgiveness only when you truly feel comfortable with doing so if not do not waste your precious time love! 

Hey!

The most important thing to do once you have lost someone you love whether that be by death or simple outgrowing you must allow yourself time to grief. Feel the pain it is absolutely normal and there should be no shame in doing so. Nowadays we as a society want to rush the process of healing and jump into the next situation as soon as possible. Doing so leaves us more broken then we were when we started. 

It is imperative that you allow your heart and soul to heal from such an emotionally distressing event such as losing someone you cared about no matter how you lost them.
Your first steps should be to get in touch with yourself and really listen to what you need at this time. Everyone needs something different so I can not tell you exactly what you need at this moment but you can. Dedicate time to sitting down and really doing some deep self-reflection, doing so will open you up to what you really need to heal. Because at this point you should be focused on healing from that event. 

Note that healing is not an easy task, it is not rainbows and candy but hard emotional work. Some days it will be amazing and other days it will be terrible. But that's ok because in life balance is essential.

So my major tip to you is just to focus on yourself, your needs, and your healing process. Once the thought of said person does not make you drown in shame, regret, and pain any longer, you know that you have made great progress in your healing and once you get there keep going! 

Journey safely love, we are all rooting for you!

Ask Zanaé: HOMESICK in College!!!


What’s the best way to deal with being homesick from college?

Hey!

Being homesick is very common among college students during their first few years at a school. Its a new environment it is not what you are used to but its okay because you will get used to it as time goes on. I have personally experienced homesickness and it made me disconnect from my university. But first, we have to understand that homesickness comes from a need for connection and security. So I would advise you get out there and do things that remind you of home (could be as simple as eating a meal from home or joining an org similar to the one you were in back at home) , make new friends who make you feel good and find new things on campus that fulfill you. And of course, you can end your lovely day with talking to your best friends from back home! 

The biggest thing is to NOT stay in your room!!! Your campus can be more powerful than you may ever know and you can not get to those amazing things is you are sitting in your room wishing to go home!

Make your campus your home away from home, after all, that's exactly what it is, do not be afraid to embrace your lovely campus and all that it has to offer! Connect with it and you may find yourself a lot less homesick!

Ask Zanaé: ."