Ask Zanaé: Ask Zanae

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Saturday, September 15, 2018

Ask Zanaé: Am I stuck in the talking stage!?

Ask Zanae September 15, 2018 Ask Zanae , 8 Comments

Ask Zanaé

What's up girl? Long time no see! I have questions and want an outsiders opinion. The question is what exactly is talking and is there rules? Also I've been talking to someone and really like them and at times want more but after talking about that topic with them it seems that they don't. How do I know if I really do want more and am not just holding back? What do I do if those feelings aren't reciprocated?

Hey girl!

The infamous "talking stage" has got confused for ALOT of things! From dating to friends with benefits to best friends. I think it is safe to say it gets quite puzzling. However, it does not have to be it is actually simple. The "talking stage" is better known as the getting to know each other stage. In this stage, you are there to do one of three things. Date, become friends, or nothing at all. Boom! There you have it!

What to do if you catch feelings in the talking stage?

It is normal to catch feelings for someone at this stage because you find that you like their personality and what have you. That's great because again you are in this stage to do one of those three things mentioned above. When you catch feelings do not suppress them communicate how you feel to that person.

What to do if the person does not seem to feel the same?

It sucks sometimes people just do not feel the same way we do but that does not mean all hope is lost. If you feel you can still be friends with this person while having some feelings for them go for it. But if you find that it is becoming increasingly difficult to talk to them without blushing or feeling rejected you may need to take some time away from them. Most of all do not try to force someone into feeling the same way if they do it will come naturally with time. I do not know how long you guys have been talking but I would not rush it, people move at their own pace!

How do I know if I really want more?

You already know that you want more because you stated that, do not hold back your emotions because the thing about that is you will come face to face with them constantly until you handle them.

What do I do if these feelings aren't reciprocated?

Do not take it personally is the biggest thing, everyone will not fit each other. And that is okay because you will find your perfect fit in due time.

Do not dwell on this, it is very easy to dwell on why someone does not feel the same but you will go crazy trying to figure that out because you may never know. It could honestly be beyond you so try not to stress it too much.

Take this time to yourself, it is always a great time to work on yourself! Focus all on you!

Have fun! Go do something you love, maybe even meet someone new its millions of people out there waiting for someone just like you! So I would not worry about this too much, enjoy life and prosper the right one may be closer than you think!

Related post:
How to get over him!
How to move on from losing someone you cared about?

Monday, September 3, 2018

Ask Zanaé: Staying FOCUS in college!!!

Staying FOCUS in college!

Any advice on staying focus in college?

Hey!

The biggest thing about college and staying motivated is constantly reminding yourself why exactly you are there! When I am feeling lazy I quickly remind myself of what I am here to do! Also, it helps to know that this is no longer a free education (in less you got it like that!!) therefore there is really NO time to play around. I do not play with the money and I know you don't either!

Here are my tips on how to stay focus in college:

Set Goals! Setting goals throughout the week is helpful for keeping yourself motivated, you can go as far as rewarding yourself at the end of the week for a job well done! Why not?

Plan your day out beforehand, some people need structure to ensure they get the work done and know exactly what it is they need to do. This is really helpful if you are a really busy person this keeps you accountable and well organized! The better you feel the easier it will be to stay focus.

PRIORITIZE!!!! College is popping allll day long we know that! But you do not have to be at EVERY event lit and in the mix! If your work ain't done there is no reason we should see you at the party! Make sure to get the work done on time and at your best effort. I know you want to get lit but is getting lit really worth it at the end of the day?

Keep a like-minded circle, you should surround yourself with people who have the same mindset as you. Doing this allows for the people around you to motivate you and keep you accountable. If you choose to surround yourself with people who could care less about what they are doing in college they will eventually rub off on you.

Cut out the distractions, it can be quite difficult to cut out all the distractions that are in your way but if you try to avoid boredom as much as possible you will be on your way to a more focused mind. Boredom is the playground to distractions and poor decisions. Stay as busy as possible, keep a productive schedule, stay out the mix and prosper!

I wish you a great semester of lessons learned, amazing memories, and outstanding academic success!

Ask Zanaé: How do I know if I truly love who I am?

Ask Zanae September 03, 2018 Ask Zanae , 0 Comments

How do I know if I truly love who I am?

Hey!

Look at yourself in the mirror are you happy with what is looking back at you?
Go to eat dinner or lunch alone, do you feel secure in your own presence?
The last time someone asked you for something you did not want to provide, did you say no?
Can you with ease explain all that makes you whole?

Someone who loves themselves always put themselves first and feels secure in their own presence. People who love themselves know who they are very well and are not afraid to address their flaws. They work diligently on their character while also being kind to who they are! Because after all, they understand that humans are flawed but still worth unconditional love!

If you love yourself, you are very aware of who is looking back at you in that mirror and proud to be on the other side. You feel whole no matter who is around you, and you say no without explanation simply because you can!

The journey to self-love is fulfilling, if you are not happy with the answer to those questions take the time to make yourself whole.

Ask Zanaé: How to stop isolating myself?

Ask Zanae September 03, 2018 Ask Zanae , 0 Comments

How to deal with the constant urge to isolate yourself when you feel like you’re not in control of what’s happening in your life?

Hey!

Let me be the first to say I am proud of your self-awareness and realization, not many people can address an issue that they may have and being able to do that shows you have lots of courage!
Isolation is not all bad I must say, there are just some things we need to do alone, sometimes we need to recharge alone, or simply take time to ourselves. Realizing the difference between those things and isolating yourself because you feel out of control is very important.

Here are my tips on how to deal with the urge to isolate yourself when you feel like you’re not in control:

Identify what is causing you to feel out of control, it is very clear that you have the skills within you to understand yourself and assess your actions. Use those skills to help you identify what is causing your issue.

Get back in control, you ultimately have the power to control your life and what happens in it, but some things are simply uncontrollable, but those things do not need to be controlled for you to still have power over your life. For example, a death in your family is an uncontrollable fate but choosing to stay in a toxic situation is not.

Do things that make you happy at this time, when we are feeling out of control we tend to shut down and avoid things we love to do. But remember you should and deserve to be happy always and forever, therefore do something you love and just have fun. Read a good book, hang out with friends, write, eat anything your heart desires.

Know that it is okay, we all feel out of control sometimes but there is no reason to panic. If you need time away from friends and family rightfully take that time away. Be respectful and explain to your loves one what the problem is or the reason for your absence, they love you so they will understand.

The biggest takeaway here is sometimes we need our alone time this does not always mean we are isolating ourselves from our friends and family. Sometimes we are calling for ourselves and have issues that only the self can heal. Isolation is not entirely bad when its a purpose behind it, just take your time, take control of your life and get back out there your friends are going to be there waiting for your arrival.

Always remember you have the power over your life and decisions and if things seem uncontrollable maybe they just do not need to be controlled after all. Sometimes things are just beyond us and we just have to go with the flow.

Be great, prosper, and stay happy!

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Ask Zanaé: " When is a good time to get back into a relationship?"

Ask Zanae September 02, 2018 Ask Zanae , 0 Comments

Ask Zanaé:

When is a good time to get back into a relationship?

Hey!

Every relationship is unique and some just do not deserve a second chance if you are looking to get back with someone. But if you are referring to when it is a good time for you to get into a new relationship I would say when you are ready.

Ready in the sense that you know exactly what you want and need from your partner, once you have established boundaries that will not be crossed, once you have healed from past trauma and when you can trust and love yourself enough to love and care for another person.

Relationships are not games and should be taken seriously because no one has time to waste playing around with people who have no idea who they are or what they want. If you do not know who you are and can not trust yourself your relationships will fail. Do the work if you truly want to meet your equal. Because as long as you continue to date aimlessly you will find yourself settling often and no one has time for that!!!!

Life is all about growth and relationships can get in the way of that growth, they are not needed but it is not a bad thing to want unconditional love and companionship, its normal. But you must be able to be comfortable alone before you can get into a serious relationship with another person.

Work on yourself selfishly, prosper, and be happy!