How to get over him!

The break up! We all been there and done that but for some reason they do not hurt any less than the last time. This one is for all my women out there that has just got their hearts crushed by the "guy of their dreams". In this post I will cover a eight step guide to getting over him and putting your happiness on top!

Lets get right to,

How to get over him!

8 step guide to loving yourself more!

1. Give your heart a break

Give yourself time to breathe and relax, break ups are hard! Do not beat yourself up over it any more than you have to. Trust me it is not worth it at all. Take some time to yourself to understand your emotions, what you have learned, and what your next steps will be. Take time to be vulnerable and let your feelings run through you as they wish. Do not attempt to deny the fact that you are hurt because denial is the first step to losing yourself.

Things to note:

> It is okay to be upset right now

> Talk to some friends inform them what's going on and get their help

> Do not attempt to fake happiness, as this will drain you even more

2. Don't Rush it!

We are young, and there is plenty of time to worry about your future husband. And even if you are not so young, there's more to life than romantic relationships. Do not worry about finding the next Mr. right so soon let him come to you.

Be so engulf in yourself and your life, that this idea is no longer apart of your everyday thoughts!

3. Remember that you broke up for a reason

No one breaks up for nothing (most of the time), do not deny that this person has caused you pain or that you may have been the one causing that pain. Whether it was cheating, you guys were not as good of a match as you once thought, or you simply out grew each other. Whatever the situation may be, know that the reason is very valid and you are not obligated to stay anywhere that does not make you happy.

Often times after break ups we want to convince ourselves that we need said person but the reality is the only thing you need is water and oxygen. Is he Water or Oxygen? I did not think so! Know that this is not the end of the world though it may feel like it. If this relationship was beneficial for you, you guys would most likely still be hand and hand but you no longer are, and that is worth some thought.

4. Take off those rose color glasses!

Honestly he was not perfect and neither were you, it is easy to make yourself feel like crap swearing that your ex boyfriend was the best thing next to sliced bread! He was not because if he was you will still be with this magical boy!

Those glasses are dangerous and need to be taken off when you are ready to take them off which I hope is sooner rather than later. 

Your ex boyfriend was just a lesson and the many lessons that are soon to come! I want you to know that there will be more of these moments and looking at him as the epitome of a man will not help you move on to the many other things that are waiting for you!

Are you taking those glasses off?

5. Throw your regrets in the trash!!!

At one point this was all you wanted and that is fine! We are all allowed to grow freely and sometimes we out grow the people we felt were made just for us. In that moment of your life he was perfect for you, and now he just is not any more and that's okay.

You may be feeling lots of regret after this break up and understandability so, but there's no room for regret in this life! You did just as you wished and that's all that matters.

Mistakes are inevitable and also impossible to go back and change, but the beauty in that is they do not need to be changed!

Think of it this way:
> Would you be who you are today if you never made all those mistakes?
> Would you be where you are without failures?

Know that what you been through was not for nothing and without mistakes there would rarely be any lesson for us to learn. And what kind of life is that?

6. Be kind to yourself!

He can neglect you but it is important you do not neglect yourself. At this time all your love should be placed solely on you. We all need tender love and care and if you refuse to tend to those needs you will never get over this situation. 

Hug yourself, literally hug yourself right now! Give yourself a nice big squeeze, hold on for as long as you need. Now Isn't that nice?

*Study shows that self-compassion improves overall health btw!*

7. Make A Change!

New situation brand new you! A change does not have to be drastic all the time, something little can make a huge difference in your life. From coloring your hair, getting a new tattoo, speaking up for yourself more or doing something completely outside your comfort zone. Change has no limit! And is completely up to what makes you feel amazing about life and yourself as a whole.

Make that change and take your life back girl!

8. Focus on yourself!

A break up is bad but it also clears up a lot of time for self reflection and self realization. When we are with people it is often difficult to have time to self reflect and learn about the self. Mainly because our focus is on our partner and what makes them happy rather than ourselves especially as women. If this sounds like you and your situation, the time is NOW to focus all on you!

Questions to ask:

> What are some things you do not like?
> What makes you happy?
> What makes you smile so hard your cheeks hurt?
> What makes you boil over with passion?

See that smile! It's beautiful right, keep it proudly!

Romance is great, it is but the love of yourself and everything you come with is AMAZING! Taking the time to focus on yourself and learning everything that makes you who you are is the most fulfilling thing next to ice cream! 

The time is absolutely now! Explore your greatness! You deserve that much!

Conclusion

So you are fresh out a break up? Hearts hurting, eyes burning, and feeling lost? It's totally normal, its okay to hurt but try not to stay down for too long, the girl in the mirror is waiting on you! I hope you found this guide helpful and will soon utilize some of the tips provided to keep your happiness on top!

Remember this lovely ladies, losing yourself is never worth keeping him! 

Leave a comment, share with us how you got over a bad breakup.

Peace and love,

~Zanaé