Ask Zanaé: How to stop isolating myself?

How to deal with the constant urge to isolate yourself when you feel like you’re not in control of what’s happening in your life? 

Hey!

Let me be the first to say I am proud of your self-awareness and realization, not many people can address an issue that they may have and being able to do that shows you have lots of courage!
Isolation is not all bad I must say, there are just some things we need to do alone, sometimes we need to recharge alone, or simply take time to ourselves. Realizing the difference between those things and isolating yourself because you feel out of control is very important.

Here are my tips on how to deal with the urge to isolate yourself when you feel like you’re not in control:

Identify what is causing you to feel out of control, it is very clear that you have the skills within you to understand yourself and assess your actions. Use those skills to help you identify what is causing your issue. 

Get back in control, you ultimately have the power to control your life and what happens in it, but some things are simply uncontrollable, but those things do not need to be controlled for you to still have power over your life. For example, a death in your family is an uncontrollable fate but choosing to stay in a toxic situation is not.

Do things that make you happy at this time, when we are feeling out of control we tend to shut down and avoid things we love to do. But remember you should and deserve to be happy always and forever, therefore do something you love and just have fun. Read a good book, hang out with friends, write, eat anything your heart desires.

Know that it is okay, we all feel out of control sometimes but there is no reason to panic. If you need time away from friends and family rightfully take that time away. Be respectful and explain to your loves one what the problem is or the reason for your absence, they love you so they will understand.

The biggest takeaway here is sometimes we need our alone time this does not always mean we are isolating ourselves from our friends and family. Sometimes we are calling for ourselves and have issues that only the self can heal. Isolation is not entirely bad when its a purpose behind it, just take your time, take control of your life and get back out there your friends are going to be there waiting for your arrival.

Always remember you have the power over your life and decisions and if things seem uncontrollable maybe they just do not need to be controlled after all. Sometimes things are just beyond us and we just have to go with the flow. 

Be great, prosper, and stay happy!